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Friday, April 20, 2007

Chuck Norris!!!


Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever!

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the
probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see
Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized,
Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should
have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop
the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck Norris met all three bullets
with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of
life there.

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit
from anybody.

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied,
"Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention
of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only
thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

I hope you enjoyed this introduction into the legend known as
Chuck Norris. This is the first installment in a series of
Chuck Norris education blogs. Stay tuned for the 10 Days of Norris!


Luke said...

Mine gets cut off on the right hand side, I am sad, did Mr. Norris cut them off from the matrix? He would totally whoop Neo's but, Guess what Neo Chuck Norris wrote the book on Kung Fu and then kicked the book back in time to the monks so Kane could wonder the west kicking bad cowboys and stuff!

Zach said...

Nice call Luke, P.S. did you see the UFC last night. Doesn't Arlov the bad ass HWY from Russia remind you of an illegitamate son of Chuck Norris.

Zach said...

I finally figured out the ImgRed.
Thank SiBlog

Simon said...

Great stuff!

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