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Saturday, May 5, 2007

This Week in Health, Fitness and Science

A Good Week For:
  • Geritol and French Fries: A retrospective study found that THC, found in Marijuana, helps the elderly, with a loss of appetite, gain weight. The logical explanation for this is that Cannabis works on our brain to give us the munchies. However, I think there is more. As humans age our cognitive function deteriorates, starting with short term memory. When humans smoke dope it damages the part of the brain responsible for short term memory. Thus the obvious explanation is that the older adult when high simply forgets the last time they ate. The unfortunate drawback of these short term memory lapses is that their Bingo skills drop exponentially!
  • Sadism: Scientists have uncovered a sadistic Brazilian spider whose bite induces extreme pain accompanied by a long painful erection! I can't think of anything much more degrading. Spider Venom Article.
  • Concert Roadies: While your getting your 'pre-game' on before your next concert remember to take your vitamins. A shot of Antioxidant may help reduce noise induced hearing loss. Specifically Vitamin A, C, E and Magnesium.
  • Long Bones: People with shovels and stuff found some gigantic dinosaur bones in Australia. One of the bones, a femur, from a dinosaur was 5 feet long and 220 pounds. The bones where captured from 82 foot behemoths. Dinosaur Bone Article.
  • Starbuck's: Coffee appears to ward off Type II Diabetes and some types of cancer according to new research. So pulling all nighters cramming for tests may not be that bad for you after all!
A Bad Week For:
Boring But Important:
Something Else:


justin said...

the Sadist Spider possibly combines all my greatest fears in once small package. i guess i'm never going to Brazil...

Simon said... question is what happens if you are a girl? Maybe I really don't want to know that answer

Zach said...

Justin, I feel your pain! I don't think I want to go to Brazil anymore either. Sounds a little risky. I can't imagine wrthing around on the ground in terrible pain while simultaneusly suffering from an erection.

Luke said...

I feel bad for Brian, I don't want him to shrink!!!! Oh and I have a question, Why do they call it soy "milk" where are the teats or mammary glands of the soy plant, it is soy juice dammit!

Zach said...

Good call Luke. I never thought of that until now. You are both wised and well versed in your young age!

Veridiana Serpa said...

nice blog, greetings from Brazil!